We welcomed a baby girl!

 We were proud to announce the arrival of L (born in the wee hours of Thursday, April 18th) to the fold! She's my 3rd one to fall on the 18th, so it's a lucky day in our house! Labor was fast! Kept thinking I had a lot of time to get myself "ready" mentally, was surprised when they said it was time to push! Will be excited to be home tomorrow for a nice restful shabbat with the whole crew.

Baby time!!!

Blogging from the hospital to say, it's baby time! Contractions are good, 5-6cms dilated. Just not in the home stretch yet. It's been a weird labor. Cannot wait to me her (and name her!)

Keeping Shabbat....usually

It's a really funny topic in our house, Shabbat. Not growing up Jewish, the idea of not using electricity boggled my brain during my early conversion studies and marriage. My husband, growing up for the most part Modern Orthodox/Conservadox before his parents joined Reform shul over politics, learned early on how to either enjoy the restrictions or well...get around them.

For the most part for the last 5 years, we've been fairly observant. We have all the shabbat gadgets and timers and we use them. We're not perfect but we try.  Not tonight though. One temporarily bed resting mama (I did something stupid during that icey spell and let's leave it at that) has decided that tonight I want Netflix. I want my computer, and my key to the outside world. And I'm not using my sister to get it. So forgive, me but tonight I'm breaking Shabbos to watch MOT Lewis Black.

I'm not the greatest writer of all time. But its the attempt that counts, right?

Reading others' blogs, and rereading my own personal journal I'm reminded of two things that affect both what I write, and how it's written.

1. I am not by my own natural abilities, a good grammar person. Less so now that I've given up time, energy, and brain cells to constant pregnancy and children. Don't get me wrong, these little people are very much worth it, and I have a feeling they're going reteach it to me the farther we get into our home school curriculum. But before this blog, I had little actual writing to do each day that doesn't involve text messages, lists, or bills going back to the college classes from when N. was tiny. It's been awhile.

2. I write how I speak unless forced to do otherwise, and frankly it's going to take a lot of time and patience to get back to a more formal style where my points are actually properly wrapped up in a nice, conventional structure.

Baby Wearing.

image reuploaded from the doula shop, copyright and credit belongs to them.


The sling pictured above may or may not have saved my sanity. I can't be certain either way because honestly my memories of the time of initial usage? Bit of a blur. I had a preschooler, toddler, newborn, and an awesome cause of sleep deprivation not at all helped by the fact that A. was early, and even tinier than my existing Lilliputian children.

What I remember most about first wearing her was the comfort I felt. I'd been gifted with, and lightly used a few kinds of baby wearing devices with C. and N. but never really adjusted to them. I'm somewhat ashamed to say it now but baby wearing seemed strange and too old fashioned to a very young, very immature me. It took three kids, 3 years, and two hands for me to realize I needed some other option simply to get through each day. Enter the Peanut shell, the Maya, the Ergo, and a few of their knock off cousins (have you seen the price on those things? I have 5 kids, I can't afford that just for a new fabric color). The green fleece was the most used of all though. I think it was given to me for N., or somewhere in between. Either way, that provided me with an ease of access this mama needed to do stupidly simple stuff.

Fast forward a few years, and two more babies who've been or are being toted around on their Mama's front/side/back. And then this article today. Part of me tries to be rational about it, remind myself that if properly used it shouldn't hurt the kids. It's still scary though, because you know the mothers mentioned had that same instinct to protect their child, but instinct alone simply wasn't enough. Sometimes I think sanity is only an illusion.

Quiet.

It's joyous to settle in for an end of Shabbat evening, and have total silence. Kids sleeping, husband studying (grad school), and me reunited with the laptop.  As High Holidays approach, I've enjoyed the time to be introspective, and to look at the changes I'd like to make for the next year (G-d willing). I really think this blog might help me with some of them, I just haven't realized exactly how yet. I do know that it's reawakened that itch to write, to share, to create. It's become too easy to fall into that never ending parenthood "rut". It's good to have a place to talk about something other than diapers and school for once.

On that note, one of my favorite "cover' bands, the Maccabeats have a High Holidays edition out.

To anyone who may stumble upon this sad little blog, enjoy your week.

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